Florida Ave. Beyond Thunderdome

Josh shared his observations about his drive home one day last week:

"Florida Avenue was a freak show on the way home today.  There was some weirdo dressed in all black wearing a breast plate and shin guards like it was something to do.  In the same block there were a bunch of other weirdos wandering around without shirts on looking confused.  It was like 'Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome' out there."

The Queen Bee

I made the mistake of relaying a warning I read on the back of a jar of Tucks.

Me: "Did you know that you're not supposed to insert Tucks into your rectum using your finger, mechanical device, or other applicator?  Who would actually do that??"

Josh: "Hmm...  I suppose there could be a situation wherein you would be so desperate for hemorrhoidal relief that you would want to go directly to the source.  You gotta get the Queen Bee while she's still in the hive."

Trashimus Prime

As we were pulling out of the parking lot on our way to Nordstrom's today, Josh again noticed that the neighbors on the corner need to replace the ceiling fan on their porch and this prompted the following rant.

Josh: "Is it wrong that I want to go buy a ceiling fan and sneak over and replace that floppy piece of shit on their porch?  They are so trashy!  All they do is drink beer and shoot cans with BB guns in their backyard."

Me: "They shoot cans?!?! I've never noticed that."

Josh: "YES!  OH MY GOD!  It's like Trashimus Prime over there.  They are out there every day starting at 8 o'clock in the morning shooting at Busch Light cans and bottles while listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd.  AND there's always some dumbass 10 year old over there learning how to shoot cans!  I moved out of Zephyrhills to get away from that.  I'm going to set up a tactical shooting range in the backyard and teach Laura how to shoot at cans because that's apparently the thing to do in this neighborhood!"