I made the mistake of relaying a warning I read on the back of a jar of Tucks.
Me: "Did you know that you're not supposed to insert Tucks into your rectum using your finger, mechanical device, or other applicator? Who would actually do that??"
Josh: "Hmm... I suppose there could be a situation wherein you would be so desperate for hemorrhoidal relief that you would want to go directly to the source. You gotta get the Queen Bee while she's still in the hive."
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