While watching a little TV today I was reminded of my greatest holiday prank ... ever.
A few Christmas' ago I was shopping for gifts at the Ft Meade, MD Base Exchange. At the register the checkout girl threw a Spiderman head antenna topper into my shopping bag. (I think she wanted me, but that's neither here nor there.) As I stared at that 3 1/2 inch foam head I was touched by the hand of God, and I knew what I had to do. I searched franticly through the house for a box the right size. I stuffed Spidey in a box, then into another, wrapped it with paper and ribbons and placed it under the tree 3 weeks before Christmas in plain view.
I, of course, was unable to keep my greatness to myself so I told everyone what I had planned. Not understanding the divine nature of this prank all the ladies at work advised against it but I was on a mission from the lord. Every day they asked if I had come clean and started a betting pool on how badly I would be beaten.
Within hours Tiffany discovered the package and the shaking , guessing and wonder lust commenced. Her excitement grew at a rate much faster than I expected. At first I fanned the flames and danced around them like the devil. Then I started to get the feeling this might not work out as well as I had hoped. So I began to down play the box, telling her not to get her hopes up ... but they were already up and there was only one way to bring them down.
I talked her into opening the box about a week before Christmas (or gift exchange day as I prefer). She hurriedly ripped through the ribbon and paper to uncover a classic white box. Opening the box she discovered a small black felt box ... her excitement had reached its pentacle. As she slowly pried the lid open, I turned away conceal the tears of joy that were by now streaming down my reddened face. Suddenly I was struck in the side of the head by Spiderman. "Asshole" she exclaimed "I can't believe you would let me think it was jewelry all this time". Of course she was disappointed, hurt, and humiliated but it was hilarious nonetheless.
And just so you don't think I'm the worlds biggest ass clown, I did have a very nice bracelet all ready for gift exchange day the whole time.
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