Fat Ass Jimmy Buffet

"If I were single and suddenly became independently wealthy, I'd move to Key West and become a fat ass Jimmy Buffet.  I'd grow a pony tail and start dressing like my dad (author's note: his dad has an affinity for brightly colored Hawaiian type shirts).  Then I'd spend all day drinking mojitos and all night plowing drunk tourist chicks.  That's what those chicks go to Key West for anyway, to bang fat ass Jimmy Buffet look alikes."

I replied, "Really?  Drunk chicks?"

In response, he said, "Why do you think I'd drink mojitos all day?  To forget the shame."