After watching the Lightning win a playoff game, Josh and I started watching the pre-show for the Preakness horse races.  While watching footage of some obviously arrogant jockeys prepare themselves before the race, I postulated that jockeys fight a lot.  This prompted Josh to make the claim that he could handily kick a jockey's ass while I claim that it wouldn't be as easy as he believes. 

This discussion has been going on for three days now and has followed this general pattern:

Josh: "I would destroy a jockey."

Me: "I wouldn't be too cocky about that.  They have to be strong enough to handle a thoroughbred racing horse."

Josh: "They weigh 85 pounds!! I have at least 90 pounds on them!"

Me: "First of all, jockeys usually weigh about 105 pounds.  And secondly, a race horse weighs half a ton.  If they can handle a half ton horse, they can handle you." (Don't ask me how I know the weights of racing horses and jockeys - it's just some of the stupid, useless knowledge that clogs my brain).

Josh: "No way.  I could pick up a jockey over my head and snap him in half.  Besides, they just whip the shit out of the horse with a stick - that doesn't take any strength.  A baby can do that."

Me: "So you can dead lift 105 pounds over your head with your crap shoulder?"

Josh: "Yes.  I could only fight hard for about 30 seconds but those 30 seconds would feel like an eternity for that jockey due to the ass beating I would put on him.  I can't believe you don't think I can kick a jockey's ass!  No faith!  I have specialized training."

Me: "I don't doubt that you could kick a jockey's ass... eventually.  I just don't believe it would be as easy as you think it would be.  They're strong and fast, like little leprechauns."

Josh: "Let's go to the horse track.  I'm going to find a jockey and pick a fight just to prove to you that I can kick a jockey's ass."

Me: "Let me know which jail I need to pick you up at."